From my Twitter feed: Boost same-sex curricula: union, Winnipeg Free Press, 2013-05-02.
Here is a quote for those who don't want to read the article:
Ok, let's make sure "all curricula" accurately reflect the make-up of the population. We'll have to make everything in proportion to the population at large. Canada: 1% gay, 1% bisexual. (Statistics Canada, 2009). So we have to make sure "all curricula" are 1% gay, 1% bisexual.
Hmmmmmmm...
I think there are generally two approaches to this problem. Either 1) a percentage of the whole year or 2) a percentage of each period. Now I don't know about Manitoba but in the Northwest Territories I counted approximately 1300 hours of school attendance per year. So either 1) 26 hours of talking about gays and bisexuals a year, or 2) 66 seconds from every 55-minute periods talking about gays and bisexuals.
I like that. Math? 66 seconds of gay math. Gym? 66 seconds of gay gym. Chemistry? 66 seconds of gay chemistry.
You might argue that there is no such thing as "gay math." As the Facebook meme used to say "I parked my truck, I didn't gay-park my truck." Oh? But if you can't do gay math, how are we gonna make sure the math curriculum is 2% gay? (Pardon me, 1% gay and 1% bisexual.)
I'm not being perverse here. They said "all curricula", not me. I mean, if they just want to put in 26 hours a year about gays (for example, under Manitoba's "Diversity Education" curriculum), that's one thing, but no, they want every curriculum to reflect the make-up of the population.
Then again when I put it that way, 26 hours in a school year is not entirely trivial. It's like 40 minutes a week. Almost a whole period a week of talking about gay and bisexual topics, whatever that is. I mean, you talk to me about "gay topics" for 40 seconds and I'm bored; I don't see how I'd sit through 40 minutes of gay curriculum a week for 13 years.
But we mustn't stop here! We must make sure all curricula accurately reflect all aspects of diversity in Canada! First of all the population is 49% male and 51% female so all curricula have to be 51% female topics and 49% male topics. And by the way 83.2% of the population is 15 years and older so we should make sure 83.2% of all curricula include 15-and-older topics. Kindergarten gym? Let's talk about arthritis. Then gays.
And you know what else is really important to people's identity? Language. We have to ensure all curricula represent the language balance of Canada. Including 3% Chinese and 1% each Farsi, Panjabi, Urdu and Arabic. Math: 51% women's math, 2% gay and bisexual math, 3% Chinese math, 1% Arabic math. Which is gonna really suck ass because right now math is nearly 100% Arabic and it's gonna be really hard making up the 99% excess Arabic math.
Even worse, let's represent religion accurately in all curricula! 43% Catholic in all curricula? What's Catholic math? Don't know. Maybe the kind where pi is an integer. And can we have just 29% Reformed math, or since Reformers mostly never agree with each other, does math need to be subdivided accurately into all the divisions of Protestantism? "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879" math, or "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912" math? Well at least gym will work pretty well: split up by religion and fight it out.
And in this way we shall successfully teach every child that we're all irretrievably different and life is all about making sure people pay attention to YOUR uniqueness rather than put differences out of mind and work on a common goal. Brilliant!
Here is a quote for those who don't want to read the article:
A resolution to go before the annual general meeting of the Manitoba Teachers' Society May 23 to 25 would call on the Department of Education to "ensure that same-sex families and LBGTTQ (lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender, two-spirited, queer) people and themes are reflected in all curricula."
Ok, let's make sure "all curricula" accurately reflect the make-up of the population. We'll have to make everything in proportion to the population at large. Canada: 1% gay, 1% bisexual. (Statistics Canada, 2009). So we have to make sure "all curricula" are 1% gay, 1% bisexual.
Hmmmmmmm...
I think there are generally two approaches to this problem. Either 1) a percentage of the whole year or 2) a percentage of each period. Now I don't know about Manitoba but in the Northwest Territories I counted approximately 1300 hours of school attendance per year. So either 1) 26 hours of talking about gays and bisexuals a year, or 2) 66 seconds from every 55-minute periods talking about gays and bisexuals.
I like that. Math? 66 seconds of gay math. Gym? 66 seconds of gay gym. Chemistry? 66 seconds of gay chemistry.
You might argue that there is no such thing as "gay math." As the Facebook meme used to say "I parked my truck, I didn't gay-park my truck." Oh? But if you can't do gay math, how are we gonna make sure the math curriculum is 2% gay? (Pardon me, 1% gay and 1% bisexual.)
I'm not being perverse here. They said "all curricula", not me. I mean, if they just want to put in 26 hours a year about gays (for example, under Manitoba's "Diversity Education" curriculum), that's one thing, but no, they want every curriculum to reflect the make-up of the population.
Then again when I put it that way, 26 hours in a school year is not entirely trivial. It's like 40 minutes a week. Almost a whole period a week of talking about gay and bisexual topics, whatever that is. I mean, you talk to me about "gay topics" for 40 seconds and I'm bored; I don't see how I'd sit through 40 minutes of gay curriculum a week for 13 years.
But we mustn't stop here! We must make sure all curricula accurately reflect all aspects of diversity in Canada! First of all the population is 49% male and 51% female so all curricula have to be 51% female topics and 49% male topics. And by the way 83.2% of the population is 15 years and older so we should make sure 83.2% of all curricula include 15-and-older topics. Kindergarten gym? Let's talk about arthritis. Then gays.
And you know what else is really important to people's identity? Language. We have to ensure all curricula represent the language balance of Canada. Including 3% Chinese and 1% each Farsi, Panjabi, Urdu and Arabic. Math: 51% women's math, 2% gay and bisexual math, 3% Chinese math, 1% Arabic math. Which is gonna really suck ass because right now math is nearly 100% Arabic and it's gonna be really hard making up the 99% excess Arabic math.
Even worse, let's represent religion accurately in all curricula! 43% Catholic in all curricula? What's Catholic math? Don't know. Maybe the kind where pi is an integer. And can we have just 29% Reformed math, or since Reformers mostly never agree with each other, does math need to be subdivided accurately into all the divisions of Protestantism? "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879" math, or "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912" math? Well at least gym will work pretty well: split up by religion and fight it out.
And in this way we shall successfully teach every child that we're all irretrievably different and life is all about making sure people pay attention to YOUR uniqueness rather than put differences out of mind and work on a common goal. Brilliant!
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